haha. i'm not emo now. wanted to tell you all about something i've always wanted to tell pple about but never did.

don't you think its magical at night in any city, espicially singapore. when its night time, we harness the power of nature to light up the city artificially. and when you look at the city skyline, especially from the esplanade terrace on a friday night, then you wonder if what we are doing really adds to global warming.

how can something so beautiful be so harmful to the earth?

ok. nuff said. my shoutouts:

1. dzarrin: good luck for your reservist! dun let your men bully you!

2. weims: thanks for sticking by our work. its really encouraging.

3. boobs: thanks for your msg babe! made me feel alot better!

4. aarona and seng song: my porkfrens overseas! enjoy your trips!

5. jayne! dun so emo already. :> things are looking up!

6. bobby! have fun doing ur internship! if i can i will go find you in hk with ss!

okiedokes. peace everyone!

and to my darling at work. hang in there! :)

u know, i strongly believe that blogs aren't places to be emo. because by publicizing your sorrow, you are effectively making your frens, whom you know will read, feel sorry for you, so in a way, trying to get sympathy votes.

but today i can't help it. i guess i need to tell all of you that i'm depressed. but don't worry. i won't show it. cos i'm strong, and cos I lie very very well. so well in fact that i may be guilty of bluffing myself sometimes.

I think i just lost my job. well, maybe not but i sure lost the plot in the project i was working on. I thought beforehand that sure can one. its steve! afterall. but i now realize that i didn't put enough thought into the project and that i didn't play my hands right. I also realize that my persuasiveness stops at peer level. I'm not very good at persuading higher management. but that will change, as i've learnt alot in the last few weeks.

I lost my scholarship too. its very very difficult to keep inside. i really really don't want anyone to find out cos i feel its dem malu. but i can't help it. its so shitty! urghs.

err... ok. now to add on my normal complaints about being short, fat and dyslexic. and not fast anymore. and no stamina.

but. i'm ok. really. i did quiet time this morning. i reached office super duper early. I thank God in times of trouble too. Glad i can. Cos in every victory, or difficulty in this case, please let it be said of me, my source of strength comes from God.

not all is lost though. i have gained the confidence of my boss, or so i think, cos he is willing to extend our working arrangement. I have become closer to seng song and weims. I have been able to catch up wtih jon, and i have made a couple of frens here.

really thinking of taking a gap year to complete the project i'm working on now.

ok. cut.


steve is once again fine as he rides into the sunset upon his noble steed.

We R the CHAMPIONS!!!! GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED!!!!!!!!!!!!

and i scored 3 goals on my comeback last friday. cant run with the ball yet but my finishing is still there. :) ok going to do some work, get a haircut and maybe go practice me golf. catcha later peeps.

photos!

went shopping at queensway today and i bought my gear for my comeback!! hohoho. catch steve lau return to the starting line up tom at nus law 4pm!!! haha. i love my new shoes! they are so cool and silver. and they are really really comfy!! thanks darling for going with me to buy them!

bought an extra ankle guard too. going to wear both now everytime i play. dem scared kind. an additional precaution i will take is to ensure weiming is on my team. haha.

everythings going good for me guys. sorry for not updating so long. i guess i only update when other pple update and when no one is updating then i dun update?

shoutouts to my boys:

dza: keep up the good work for ur bsm! :) enjoy urself there and dun forget to buy something for me. hehe

sil: thanks for the sweets! :) so sweet of u. hurhur.

LANCE AND JAYNE: love u both but could u please take out the rotting potato and oranges from my locker! haha.

BOB and SS: starcraft leh. haha. NOW> :) lets start playing golf tog too. crabs soon

Boons : get well soon! :)

Weims : Dun break my other ankle! haha. jking. thanks for sticking with me in the project. really.

Aaron: Have a good trip to London!

Phebs: hope ur having fun in hk!

Ian: sleep over at ur place soon! :) but no scary shows. otherwise aaron might pee in his pants. :)

PORKFRENS: can someone pls organize supps. dun slack leh!

oh yeah! Crytal: hope ur having fun in hk/korea? dunno. haha.

to everyone else doing ur internships have fun! :) heart heart heart

dawn!: hope u have fun in spain! msged u but i think ur auto roaming not on.

Gail!: faster study finish! haha.

Matt: Meet up soon!

Tang: dun u dare go watch man u again without me!!!!

lastly. to my bros in manchester. WELL DONE LA!!! CONGRATES! :)

cheers dudes

hello everyone.

sitting in class now, TAing. urghs. boring.

happy birthday boons!

ok. trying to improve my golf. trying to loose weight. trying to read more.

seeya all! happy interships! :)

havn't bloged for a while, and thats cos i've been swamped.

you know, studying social science is great cos it lets you learn more about humanity. It casts new light on things, but sometimes i wished that perhaps i wasn't so cynical or had so little faith. I'm not a strong christian, but i love God and i want to dedicate my life to him and him alone. I want to become a social worker, or something along those lines so that I may help those he loves and i he may use me in whatever way he would like. God has a way of using useless people like myself to do wonderful things. I'm not low on self confidence, but I know that despite what alot of people think of me, I'm not that strong, not that fast not that smart (not that i am those things btw) but only by his grace. I got my national gold by his grace, my scholarship by his grace, and all my wonderful friends by his grace.

But back to the topic, social science cas cast doubts on my faith. there are 3 disciplines in social science, namely - political science, sociology and psychology. at least in smu that is.

political science - this has asked me to ask myself what if religion was just a means for the rulers of that particular era to control people? religion is so powerful it makes people forget democracy and accept totalitarianism. we believe in a higher power so the sufferings of this world are all right. am i to fall into their trap? am i so sheepish as that? religion makes people forget about the inefficiencies, about the corruption, about the cronyism that goes in the government. catholism is a instituionalized way to control people. we've all heard of corrupted popes and how they make use of donations for their own private benefit. did i give all my savings or at least some of it to make my pastor fat?

sociology - this begs the question, are we just doing this whole religious thing cos other people are doing it? society and social situations play a large part in how we behave. people can be misled to commit voluntary suicides, holy wars and others, who is to say that christianity isn't such a thing? or have we all been conditioned to ignore such questions?

as you can tell i'm getting tired of writing and you all know my point. social pysch. has taught me that the power of roles and situations are so powerful that experiments conducted by zambardo have caused university students to really get into their roles as prison wardens or prisoners in a mock prison experiement. sigh. are we just fufilling our role as devotees and our pastor a role as the head of the church?

the new religion today is money. how to get a better life. how to have a nicer car. how to be smater, better, than the rest. smu students go to their new church every sunday to worship this idealology. corp coms and marketing have shown me how to market things like how a pastor would preach his message.

perhaps a reason why religion is playing such a diminished role in society is because the governments don't need it! who needs religion to control the populace when they are too busy trying to make money to revolt against the government.

singapore's sustainable authorianism says it all.

but... why then does a voice inside me say that Christ is alive and is the living God????

fatalist. heirarchist. sectarian and individualist all say no! but why?

i try to use my logic to explain this. no one could be smart enough to write the bible. no one. thats how self centered i am. another reason. no evil corrupt government could be possible for asking people not to steal... and to love one another.

why do so many people who hanv't spoken to God swear by him? (not literally of course)

well. i think after seeming so educated, im going to say that i do. I LOVE you GOD!!! and i think you are there for us. just as all seemed doomed, thank you for a friend Sarah for sending me this:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11)

thank you eileen for asking me to go to church again. i needed that.

this friday is when the Lord died for us 2007 years ago to pay for our sins. i know i may just be in my cycle of believing and sliding, but this is the absolute rock bottom for me and i hope i can climb out soon.

i'm glad i posted this. something thats been bothering me for a long long time.

1. had dinner with lance weimseer phebs and dza. this is what we ordered

boons - maggie pattaya with 1 extra chiken wing
phebs- nasi brani with 1 extra chicken wing
dzars- nasi brani with 1 extra chicken wing
weims - nasi brani with 2 extra chicken wings

lance - mutton something on bread not prata but aiya can't remember the name. :)

2. had lunch with eileen today

3. doing my socio paper now. very difficult.

4. going to go school tom and sit in the lib until i finish typing my paper

5. going to try to eat more fruits and vegetables

6. wants to watch 300 and that will smith movie

7. wants an image makeover. going to be:

-mature
-wise
-funny
-good table manners
-spell properly
-loose weight
-get fit
-cut hair
-have a slk
-sing jay chou songs
-have abbs

8. going to do more readings now.

9. loves everyone reading this

10. hopes everyone gets some sleep this weekend.

11. my name is steve! roar!

hey all. hav been having quite a tough time trying to study, coping with some family problems and stuff. but i lived through the weekend. :) my family is ok, i did all the work that i planned to do and i was at the 2 days of the SMU open house where the SMU sapphires performed 4 times. :)

besides the fact the eileen is the president, let me tell you why i honestly think that the group did tremendously well this weekend. as someone who has seen how hard they trained over the last month, i'm so glad that performance by performance, they gradually gained composure, confidence and managed to have fun doing something they love in the end. :) easy to say hard to do. even tottenham couldn't do that. hahaha. so well done guys! i mean... girls... and to my darling, i think u were awesome in leading your group, when things weren't going well, to something which i think u all are proud of. :)

me and eileen! went thru some downs on friday but ups on sat and sun. :) luviliest (icantspellit) cheerleader of them all. heheh.

from left to right: astrid aihui pris jen darling addy and luci! i hope i spelt that correctly. haha

ok going to do some work now. "women are born troublesome" but "guys need to learn how to sweet talk them". i gave that advise to my dad. aha. me with my vast expirience.

ok. go man u. go team porkfrens and see you all in sch. have a great week 11 ahead!

and if you see me stop feeding me! i'm growing fat.

oh but i can juggle a soccer ball now. ahahahha. go team steven.

everything sucks.

you know... this post isn't to make fun of liverpool fans...

but i was reading soccernet and dirk kuyt said that ' we proved we are the better team ' and ' if we played with the same level of effort and skill we will beat barcelona'

firstly:

1. the skill they had was not enuff obviously

2. the effort they put in, though tremendous, was still not enough

3. yes you all dominated the game but... you didn't score. what did you prove?

bah. i'm a humbug. hahahha.

to be fair, i'd love to see a liverpool man u champions league final.

oki. i'm bumming around can't really start doing work. feel like i've lost the will to study. dunno why. ever since i broke my ankle, i've sort of tried to take things slow. i'm not making excuses but i think i can't study cos i need to elevate my leg to stop the swelling. and i can't study in such a weird position. but my leg is getting better and i can walk normally with my cast on. oh wellch.

ok enuuffff said. going to try to do my part for marketing project cos i need to mail it out tonite. catch you all in week 10 of smu. hahaha. :)

watching you study next to me. hope i helped to make ur day a bit better. :)

had supper with the pork frens yest. thanks dza for dropping me home. :)

THanks boons for the mail! yupyup i'm doing great. :) schools been getting harder and harder but i can handle it. and my leg is getting better too!

To all those liverpool fans out there. i feel your pain. like when arsernal did that to us in last year's FA cup final. ahha.

cheers

i didn't dream last nite. tried to but cdn't. leg keep me up. urgh. still pain. but nvm thought about my family and our relationships.

life isn't so simple la.

I wrote your name in the sky,
but the wind made it fly so high.
I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves washed it to a distant land.
I wrote your name in my heart,
and forever it will never part.

happy 2 months baby! sorry for the lag. yeah yeah! :)

updates on my leg: i can walk now everyone... like a snail. haha.

oki hope everyone has a great second half of the term ahead! a pic of my rival. haha.

was watchin charlie's angels yest. i tell you girls. no need to be chio to be hot. :)

i tell you. having a broken ankle sucks. i'm not writing this post to get sympathy points, but rather to vent out my frustrations today. actually. i think i shouldn't la. i hate it when people use blogs to complain and complain bout their lives. thats y i closed down my first blog cos i felt it was becoming like that.

but it sucks la. i think i should take mc next week. sch is freakin far away to go by taxi and i dun want my parents to keep on sending me. argh.

aiya i think i just woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning.

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NEWSFLASH

This morning, at about 0153h, Lim Wei Ming broke Steve Lau Chin Wei's ankle in a crunching tackle, during an intense cage match (erm, soccer) down at Jalan Bernaan Kapal. Steve will be out of action till the end of the season, and as such will not be able to pass a fitness test in time for tomorrow's late kickoff at Zouk.

... this weiming ah... haha. anyhow everyone. its an accident and not wiems fault. who ask me to be so fast. sigh. haha.

but dun worry! i'll be back in the cage b4 u all know it

and thanks to all those who wished me well. thanks bob for coming to my place to lend me crutches. thanks ss for coming to visit. thanks dza for driving me home that day. and thanks baby for bringing me snacks and for cheering me up! :)

'no thank you for everyone else' - poh seng song. hahahhaha.

Happy CNY everyone!!! eerrr... wait i think i already wished everyone rite. hahaa. ok time to post pics!

my family at my grandma's house! i bought all the clothes from china town! haha. got a black one for mike, a gold one for my dad, a blue one for jo and a red one for myself! so that i could match eileen's top to go zouk that nite... which we didn't in the end. haha

eileen came over to my place for dinner today. i'm the luckiest guy in the world. really. haha

met the second luckiest guy in the world ... my bro.. dzarrin! at video ezy after that. we went to borrow something so that mike could take his mind off work.

ok see yall at mark cheng's place tom!

Happy new year everyone!!! :)

dun be a pig! hurhurhur.

happy new year pork frens!!! dinner on thurs ah... all must come!

happy new year to all those frens that i havn't for some reason or another had time to meet up.

And just to help my frens in Bondue advertise:

Everyone please go for Vegas Nite!!! it will be cool. trust me. Tim and vince, steve and ian must have worked really hard on it.

ok... err... ran out of things to say. Ran out. get it? hurhurhur. ok enuff. steveisgettingcrankyfromeatingtoomuchpineappletarts.

catchyall laterzzz.

i... dun like writing reports.

i... dun like reading things till late in the morning

i... dun like to be cooped up.

i... dun like waking up with nothing to look forward.

i... dun like working and having no time to exercise

i... dun like to be stressed.

urgh. urgh. urgh.

why couldn't i just have been born in manchester, and be a footballer.

i would donate 99% of my obscene salery to charity

and in my free time volunteer at childrens homes to teach english and geography.

and i would take bus everywhere, and learn how to play the saxaphone... learn how to spell properly, learn 5 languages, travel the world, learn how to cut diamonds, and in my free time, i would take dancing lessons and yoga.

i would have a small apartment with a small garden patch on my bedroom window, where i would grow laksa leaves and lime. to make laksa and lime juice.

i would have a small second hand piano.

all my shoes would be sponsored by nike.

i would have a messarge chair to sit in after trainings.

and 1 cupboard to put my things in. and a king coil mattress.

a jar of sugar and milo, and a hot water dispenser.

i'd eat my food at work, and go to my parent's house for meals in the weekend.

is that too much to ask for??? ok and my laptop and tv set.

but we must be thankful for what we have, and i really thank God for my porkfrens, my brothers, and my darling. alll of whom i can't live without.

ok back to marketing report.........

something:

"Good morning," you msged
With a smile on your face
I wasn't sure what to say
For the morning it was
But 'good' was certainly far away.

Yet, I started the day
With your smile in my mind
And I did...
Found what was impossible to find

When I was back in my room
The mirror was amazed
For I wasn't the same person
Who left in the morning

I was wearing your smile
Yes, your smile it was
Which made my day
"I love youee"
What else can I say?

once upon a time in a faraway kingdom called stevenopolis....

happy birthday da! :)

post pics on ur blog k? then i'll rip them and post on mine. :) haha.

had a really perfect day today. woke up went to sch. had lunch with the sapphires. went to sixth ave to study with eileen and we had ice cream :) 6 flavours! then i went home for dinner with my family and neighbours. dinner started at 7. at 830 i went into my room and i just concussed till 10. panicked and rushed to das place where mortal combat started. :)

going to sleep now. gd nite all! have a great week ahead!

n we lived happily ever after. :)

the end.

pics!! this one is on my mom's bd. with my two bros. me mom jo and mike!!! we had cake from bakers inn which unfortunately got abit smashed but tasted yummy all the same. :)

and here is a pic from kl with my chio bu cousins all grown up! sophie esther and grace LAU. :)

ok. had quite a long day.

"when you go to the hospital you will feel really dissapointed".

hahaha.

anyhow. found out today that to be a social worker in singapore you need to have a degree in social work or something relavant. and i think i might have a really good chance of getting a scholarship to do a social work masters overseas. :)

but the pay is really lousy. 2k. thats it. how to support my loved ones i also dunno. argh.

well God has his ways. hope everyone has a great weekend! catch the porkfrens at da's house.

it takes 3 hours to queue for donuts at the donut factory. thanks mich and phebs and crystal! haha.

but i think it doesn't make much sense, unless ur buying for other pple. cos:

1. you can travel to kl with 3 hours
2. there are no chairs
3. your back will start aching
4. you end up buying more donuts than u intended to.
5. people will think your weird if you study at the same time
6. everyone who walks past you who isn't in the que thinks you're mad
7. and so on and so forth.

sorry i had to end off on a odd number. *grin* hurhur.

my locker isn't safe anymore. someone has stolen my laptop charger and my bright yellow shirt that jayne so kindly bought for me from argentina. you all watch out ah. tmd. haha.

ok. happy birthday poh seng song.

i tell you. your bd also never warn. haha. went with mich to buy a cake for you during lunch time. hope you enjoyed it :) thanks for doing orientation with me! and for being such a great role model in track.

bob and ss were my inspirations btw everyone. haha. i have a photo of them at home. i;ll try to scan it and post if i have time.

ok going to pay attention to class now.

weims dza lance aaron ss mark andrew ian : want to form a waikiki handball team? sure win one. haha.

cheers

happy birthday dza!

just wanted to share some of the things my bro has done to make me what i am today:

1. he taught me to never give up.

there was once we went on a 20km run? the longest i had la in my life... and i just wanted to stop running all the time cos my flat feet hurt really badly. but he didn't let me. :) and i learnt alot from that. and in all my trials in track, everytime i was feeling down, he would be the one to encourage me to continue. my only gold medal was largely due to your efforts bro.

2. he taught me the meaning of what frens are for

'bro u know i've got ur back' - something i'll cary with me all the time.

3. he taught me how to play soccer. aha. hope ur proud of ur disciple bro!

thru all our problems bro. thanks for being there. thanks for understanding me. 11 years since sec 1 and looking for more ahead! :) porkfrens for life. hahahahhahahha.

on another note. tonite was really really special. its great to see that my bro has found someone who i think can take care of him properly. it was great to see all the porkfrens again. and it was great seeing u both weims and boons so happy. :) praying for you both! haha. oh n i got something for you both. remind me to pass to you. great catching up with andrew. had a great dinner with ian. enjoyed it alot. and was able to spend abit of time with jayne for a change. and to see chengster and lance. although da forgot to wear her skirt, it wasn't the reason why it was great to see her mich and crystal too. and to see phebs after her sabitical in hk.

yay.

*littlegirlblue says:
hehhh yeah i was really happy tonight.
*littlegirlblue says:
cuz i finally saw all the pork friends.
*littlegirlblue says:
and i got to spend time with weims.
*littlegirlblue says:
go team porkfriends.

cool rite. :)

on another note. it was my mom's bd also on weds. happy birthday mommie! love you alot!!!

and on thurs, well. eileen and i past the 1 month mark. :)

had dinner with her, and on the way back to her place. the taxi driver told me 2 important things.

1. i'm a good looking boy

2. that i must take care of her always.

and i'm deffinitely going to fufill one of the two.

looks like someone i know. :) ain't she hot! shes a newscaster.

i pride myself as someone who dosn't take himself too seriously. thats y i'm ok with pple making fun of me from time to time. most of the time, i think its a good thing, but sometimes its a bitch. cos when i get angry, i just can't seem to let go of it.

its like a mood... a force rather, pulls down at your spirit, pulling apart your reality and sending ripples of energy downwards in destruction, forming a valley in a mountain, and then causing your perspective to see into the outside world from the very bottom. its a steep climb up and to fill the gourge takes time and effort - which result in my muscles becoming very tensed and tight. sometimes.. and it happened today, i can't even move my facial muscles, and i talk with a tremour. so even if i've filled the gap i don't look relaxed or normal. and just like land reclamation... it leaves a stench of artificial healing that makes me feel like i shouldn't have lost it in the first place.

went for supper with sengsong mich alex crystal and dza. ate $4 ji pai hor fun. $2 sugarcane. $1 pisang goreng and i was super bloated. drove lex's car to send crystal home, dza to sch then back towards home.

sometimes. always healing.

just for the person who once said that 'sunflowers make my day'. cos u made mine today.

and for all the pple who i met today in sch, and dawn - for allowing me to end the day rite. :)

internet has been quite slow today.

went to church today and the pastor talked about john the babtist and how he was a servant to Jesus. and the distinction of the word 'to' in particular.

Lets see the differences:

Servant to Jesus vs Servant of Jesus

Citizen to Singapore, vs Citizen of Singapore

Son to parents, vs Son of parents

I think the word refers to a commitement and an aknowledgement of the role that u have been given. more so, its the act of taking up the mantle, the responsibility and taking charge of your role in that particular aspect of your life.

Not trying to be preachy here. just wanted to raise the possiblity for us to reconsider what we are doing and if we are doing exactly what we want to be doing. Or have we forgotten what we want to do out of convinience, laziness or pride.

OK here are some decisions i made today:
1. i'm going to exercise more.
2. i'm not going to sleep on sunday afternoons
3. i'm going to sleep earlier on saturday nites.
4. i'm only going to eat o lua from the 40 something stall at newton.

welcome back seng song and michelle. :)

hi all.

boons lance aaron mich : walau! haha. but dont worry i forgive you all. :)

its raining quite badly now. cool. anyway. time to tell youall interested pple my day. woke up 9ish. went back to sleep. watched cartoons (some samurai y dunno what) went to sch to meet eileen and had lunch with her, sent her home and went to play football at the old smu. played against some ang mohs who were really not too shabby. faz kieth alvin mel and i 5-aside.

upon analysis. i think ive been playing too much field soccer lately, so thus my style abit wrong. scored twice tho so not too bad. they asked me to play again on sunday. see how. i need new court shoes pple. pls donate!

this one is only $70. if you go queensway. hmmm.... after looking at what i just typed. i think i'm becoming a weiming. sheesh. ok don't need to buy for me pple. i'll just be a lance and ask ian to buy for me. hahaha. :)

anyhow. one last note before i end the post. was sending eileen home on the bus today and i think she kinda fell asleep cos lunch was quite heavy and she wasn't really feeling too well. i'm not meaning to seem gross or mushy, but i think seeing any of our loved ones fall asleep next to you is ... really something wonderful. makes everything seem right in the world? bliss? certainly going to be one of my foudest.. fondest.. foundest...ah whatever. my most cherished memories of this year.

and encouragement for michael who failed his first driving test but whom i'm sure will pass the next one. :)

oh and to eileens fren jacynth? for failing her basic theory. :>

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

may this year be a great one, a God directed one.
one where frenships are strengthened
one where hardships are shared
one where mistakes are forgiven
and one where man utd win the title back from those blue ... *grin*. hahah. u get my point.



OLE!