u know, i strongly believe that blogs aren't places to be emo. because by publicizing your sorrow, you are effectively making your frens, whom you know will read, feel sorry for you, so in a way, trying to get sympathy votes.

but today i can't help it. i guess i need to tell all of you that i'm depressed. but don't worry. i won't show it. cos i'm strong, and cos I lie very very well. so well in fact that i may be guilty of bluffing myself sometimes.

I think i just lost my job. well, maybe not but i sure lost the plot in the project i was working on. I thought beforehand that sure can one. its steve! afterall. but i now realize that i didn't put enough thought into the project and that i didn't play my hands right. I also realize that my persuasiveness stops at peer level. I'm not very good at persuading higher management. but that will change, as i've learnt alot in the last few weeks.

I lost my scholarship too. its very very difficult to keep inside. i really really don't want anyone to find out cos i feel its dem malu. but i can't help it. its so shitty! urghs.

err... ok. now to add on my normal complaints about being short, fat and dyslexic. and not fast anymore. and no stamina.

but. i'm ok. really. i did quiet time this morning. i reached office super duper early. I thank God in times of trouble too. Glad i can. Cos in every victory, or difficulty in this case, please let it be said of me, my source of strength comes from God.

not all is lost though. i have gained the confidence of my boss, or so i think, cos he is willing to extend our working arrangement. I have become closer to seng song and weims. I have been able to catch up wtih jon, and i have made a couple of frens here.

really thinking of taking a gap year to complete the project i'm working on now.

ok. cut.


steve is once again fine as he rides into the sunset upon his noble steed.